the challenge

1,200kms of furious thottle-happy-chappy action through the back roads of France, Germany, Luxembourg and Belgium. First stop Le Mans where we shall be arriving late on the Friday to do some midnight practice laps before they close the roads before getting up to party on Saturday. Sunday will see the traditional campsite competition ending with "who can jump the most tents on a C90 whilst pissed" followed by another night of partying. On Monday we head off across France to the Nurburgring where we will attempt to lap the 14 mile circuit before global warming has caused the track to be 3 metres under the North Sea. The final stretch will be a pilgramage to the Stella Artois factory in Leuven, but not before we've completed the race track hat-trick with a visit to Spa Francorchamps.

the wheels

All hail the C90 - the two wheeled turd lives on.

the rules

don't leave Camembert in your top box for a week then decide to open it on the ferry home...

the route (ish)

• Friday 15th June: Newhaven to Le Mans (173kms)
• Saturday 16th June: Le Mans 24hr race (walking to bar and back)
• Sunday 17th June: Big Air Competition (27 feet...skywards)
• Monday 18th June: Le Mans to Paris (197km)
• Tuesday 19th June: Paris to Chalons-en-Champagne (180km)
• Wednesday 20th June: Chalons-en-Champagne to Metz (159km)
• Thursday 21st June: Metz to Nurburgring (175km)
• Friday 22nd June: Break sound (of music) barrier at Nurburgring
• Saturday 23rd June: Nurburgring to Leuven via Spa Francorchamps (231km)
• Sunday 24th June: Stella factory tour and return to Calais (229km) )

expected difficulty rating 

As long as we don't arrive at Le Mans a day late and start our practice laps during the 24 hr race we should be ok. Oh, and that's assuming that Ferrari Maranellos and Yamaha R1's which will be doing approximately 150mph more than us don't squash us at the Nurburgring. Oh and I suppose there's always the danger of drowning in a vat of Stella during the factory tour (what a way to go).

YES : Count me in for the Ring Sting - put the bog roll on ice >>>          

NO : I can't do hotter than a korma